the modification of me

i will tell you now, i am not a great writer. i very rarely use capitalization or correct punctuation...so deal with that.

my life was "modified" on may 30th of last year. suddenly, everything changed. for the better of course. i really do believe my son was and IS my saving grace.

today i found myself looking up good deals on clothes, home made baby food recipes, cloth diapering tips, and a time line on baby's first's. i watched sprout, crawled all over the floor, cleaned up puke that i still don't really know if it was christian or the dog, had my hair ripped out, my scar picked at, and i was bit..not by the dog. the best part was all of this was before noon.

if we go back before i was pregnant. i wouldn't be awake yet, i'm most likely hungover, i'll wake up and a have "breakfast" around 4pm and most likely that will include an alcoholic beverage of some sort. how my husband ever put up with me, i'll never know. just thinking on it makes me so grateful for the love he has for me.

i do not miss who i used to be but, i do not regret who i was either. i love the "modified me". i'm still stacie, eccentric, bossy, blatantly honest borderline brutal sometimes, spontaneous, caring...all the good stuff. the bad stuff was all gone the second i heard that cry. i know my limits in life now.

fun things that have come with motherhood: i cry more often, i want to be better, i appreciate more, i have learned to love deeper than i ever have, i smile daily, i have no problem knowing that there is some sort of baby gross on me at all times, all in all..my heart is full.

"The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new." ~Rajneesh

Goals

I have several. Some I feel are fairly attainable. Big, small, silly, important, and of course life changing.

Here is my list

1. Weight loss
2. Healthy Eating
3. Being green
4. Recycling/upcycling
5. Loving deeply
6. Smiling every day
7. Keeping a blog up to date
8. Volunteering
9. Being selfless
10. Empathy
11. Reading more
12. CRAFTING
13. Teaching Christian anything I can
14. Patience
15. Run a 5K
15. Painting
16. Yoga
17. Dance
18. Stand up (taller/louder) about what I believe in
19. Get over my fears
20. Live